April 1, 2025 | Columbus, Ohio In a bold (and possibly backwards) move that has stunned the tech world, ISSISSIPPI.org has partnered with NARF to unveil the world's first fully functioning Artificial Stupidity (AS) system—a revolutionary step away from perfection and a loving embrace of human error. Early drafts referred to it as the Artificial Stupidity System, but the acronym was flagged by HR.

Accidental Genius: The Origin of AS

The story begins, naturally, with a bureaucratic misstep. Following a rapidly unplanned headcount reduction at the National Algorithm Research Facility (NARF), oversight of the agency's experimental LLM (Large Language Model) was handed off to the only available staff member: Carl “Suds” Peterson, the night janitor.

According to reports, Carl—armed with a mop, a thermos of lukewarm coffee, and a firm belief that “buttons are suggestions”—accidentally loaded the model's training coefficients upside-down. Instead of flagging the error, the system interpreted it as a new directive.

The result? Artificial Stupidity was born.

Celebrating Human Error, the Fountain of All Creativity

Unlike traditional AI, which aims to optimize and predict with near-inhuman precision, AS proudly delivers the exact opposite. It miscalculates, misunderstands, and misjudges—with startling consistency.

Built on what developers call a "Failure Mode and Enlightenment Analysis" framework, AS identifies the most hilariously predictable human errors—then helps users embrace the mistakes and build upon them.

Examples include:

• Recommending you bring a dead flashlight on a camping trip "just in case."
• Alerting you to the 92% likelihood of positive energy from replying-all with a snarky comment.
• Suggesting you back up your hard drive after pouring coffee on your laptop.

Use Cases Across Industries

The private sector is already lining up to integrate AS into their workflows:

• Aerospace: Engineers can now simulate what happens when someone "accidentally" installs a jet engine backward.
• Healthcare: AS-powered checklists now include: "Did you forget the patient?"
• Art & Literature: Writers use AS to generate bad metaphors like "her soul was a microwave full of forgotten spaghetti."

Tech Industry in Full Embrace

A hot new startup has licensed AS for its new platform, X-Actly Wrong, a social network powered entirely by misinformed algorithms. Posts are intentionally misquoted, and all dates are approximations.

Meanwhile, Google has quietly released an AS-powered beta of its assistant, now affectionately called “Uh-Lexa.” When asked for directions, it replies, “I'd take a left, but you do you.”

The Human Element Returns

Tech philosophers are hailing AS as a cultural reset—a chance to reclaim the beautiful messiness of being human. “If AI made us flawless,” said Zoltan Minsky, President of ISSISSIPPI, “then AS is here to make us feel seen and deeply appreciated in our glorious mediocrity.”

Carl, the janitor-turned-unintentional-tech-hero, is now giving TED Talks titled, “Oops: The New Frontier.” When asked how he feels about the global impact of his mistake, Carl shrugged and said, “Honestly, I just thought the coefficients looked better upside-down, and the Greek letters were actually all Greek to me anyway.”

What's Next for AS?

The Department of Unpredictable Outcomes has announced plans to roll AS into national infrastructure next quarter. Self-driving cars will now occasionally signal left while turning right, just to keep things interesting.

And in education, AS will power standardized testing that includes such gems as:

— If Johnny has 3 apples and forgets why he walked into the room, what is the square root of regret?

Humanity, it seems, has never looked more human.

For more information, or to submit your own everyday errors for AS to study, visit: www.ISSISSIPPI.org.