International Six Sigma Institute and Secret Society for Imperious Professionals of Process Improvement
ISSISSIPPI Converts to Free Training, Delivered via Tablet
The Future of Lean Six Sigma Training—Timeless, Durable, and Slightly Heavy
April 1, 2011 | Columbus, Ohio — The International Six Sigma Institute and Secret Society for Imperious Professionals of Process Improvement (ISSISSIPPI) is revolutionizing Lean Six Sigma training by making its industry-leading courses completely free and converting them into a cutting-edge tablet format.
Inspired by the rise of mobile learning and the portability of devices like the iPad 2, ISSISSIPPI has found a time-tested, durable alternative that will endure for generations: the stone tablet.
Recognizing the competitive pressures in today's Lean Six Sigma training market, ISSISSIPPI has embraced a radical pricing model:
- All training materials are now free
- Tablet-based learning supports mobile process improvement
- No need to worry about server downtime—your training is literally set in stone
The tablet format is ideal for the Gemba. Our customers can now take their training lessons with them as they walk the process! With stone tablets, we eliminate server outages, software bugs, and the costly burden of updating content. It's a classic win-win-win-win.
— Zoltan Minsky, ISSISSIPPI CEO
To make the transition seamless, each training course includes:
- 340 individual tablets, each weighing approximately 75 pounds
- Two hammers and four carbide stone chisels for note-taking
- Ten blank tablets for interactive group exercises
- A custom abacus, worn on a rawhide rope for mobile computing
Determined to create a long-lasting, reliable training format, ISSISSIPPI conducted an extensive TRIZ innovation study this winter. After failed attempts with wax, papyrus, wood shavings, adobe, and soapstone, the society settled on limestone as the ideal solution. Abundant local deposits in Columbus, Ohio ensure a sustainable and high-quality supply for ISSISSIPPI's team of skilled stone cutters and chiselers.
"The real winner is the customer," Minsky explained. "Not only is our Lean Six Sigma training free, but there's no need for costly software licenses or maintenance contracts. The tablets are guaranteed to last a minimum of 40,000 years and will become treasured organizational heirlooms, passed down through generations of process improvement practitioners."
For those seeking a lighter alternative, ISSISSIPPI will introduce Mesopotamian-style fired clay tablets as a premium course option in 2012.
While the training itself is free, ISSISSIPPI must charge a small delivery fee to cover transportation costs:
- $945,000 for delivery within 100 miles of Columbus
- Fee doubles every additional 500 miles
- $250,000 surcharge for overseas shipping
Customers are encouraged to pick up their own tablets to waive delivery fees, but ISSISSIPPI strongly recommends bringing at least two physically fit individuals to transport their materials.
The first Yellow Belt course, weighing in at 12.75 short tons, is now available in: 📜 English, Etruscan, Sanskrit, Proto-Indo-European, Umbrian, Sumerian, Esperanto, and Elbonian For a limited time, all orders will include a customized abacus—ideal for on-the-go calculations and conveniently worn as a fashionable waist accessory.
