International Six Sigma Institute and Secret Society for Imperious Professionals of Process Improvement
Get Control of Your Day with Jidoka Automated Assistant
Stop chaos in its tracks with the only assistant designed to identify problems and shut them down instantly.
April 1, 2022 | Columbus, Ohio — How many times during the day do you think "this is totally out of control" and wish you had a master shutoff switch? Now, thanks to wizard technology developed by the International Six Sigma Institute and Secret Society for Imperious Professionals of Process Improvement (ISSISSIPPI), there's a new virtual assistant to help you live trouble-free. That's right — stop ALL the out-of-control conditions when and where they first occur.
Process improvement shouldn't be limited to the shop floor. Much like Marie Kondo brought the 5S approach to the realm of home organization, ISSISSIPPI is bringing jidoka — stopping a process when a problem is identified — to everyday living.
— Zoltan Minsky, ISSISSIPPI President
With the new Jidoka automated assistant, you aren't limited to shutting down a single machine on the production line. Engage Jidoka to immediately avoid further frustration, misinformation, and boredom in your daily life.
- Late to a meeting? Jidoka pauses time.
- In-laws about to overstay their welcome? Jidoka ejects them.
- Annoying group chat? Jidoka activates an auto-mute.
- Did your kid just dump an entire box of cereal on the floor? Jidoka reverses entropy.
Our new Jidoka virtual assistant will rapidly respond to identify a broad array of problems and shut…them…down. The attractive design complements any decor and operates within a 20' range of the unit. Approved by the International Six Sigma Safety Organization (ISSSO). Get Jidoka. Get control.
COMING SOON
- Jidoka Geoengineering Model
For those looking to apply jidoka to global problems, our geoengineering model will be equipped to shut down out-of-control weather such as cyclones, hurricanes, and earthquakes. Geared for home use but mobile-friendly for travel, so you'll never be caught in an unplanned tsunami again. Pre-release discount code: MAYDAY. - Shhh-Bot Model
Our most advanced model, the Shhh-Bot, will be available only through premier distributors. It operates on telepathic commands, making its operation virtually undetectable. Quickly mute annoying colleagues, family, and friends with a single thought. Expecting a long-winded reply from someone who never gets to the point? Shhh-Bot preemptively trims it down to a concise, actionable summary. Expected release: 2028. - Jidoka Parenting Edition (Beta)
For those moments when chaos reigns supreme, this limited beta release is designed to restore order with precision. It can detect an impending toddler tantrum and activate distraction protocols before disaster strikes, seamlessly filter out endless requests for "just one more snack," and instantly determine who actually started the sibling fight. When bedtime resistance reaches critical levels, Jidoka steps in with smart automation that overrides every excuse, ensuring a smooth and efficient transition to lights out.
Join the thousands already optimizing their existence. Order now before inefficiency takes over again.
