April 1, 2009 | The High Seas — The International Six Sigma Institute and Secret Society for Influential Professionals of Process Improvement ("ISSISSIPPI") (pronounced "Aye-SS-Aye-SS-Aye-PP-Aye") has set sail on a bold new venture—introducing Lean Six Sigma training specifically designed for the pirate community.

For too long, pirates have struggled with inefficiencies in plundering and pillaging, resulting in long lead times, high variation, and unfortunate keelhauling incidents. But now, thanks to ISSISSIPPI’s latest online training updates, buccaneers worldwide can optimize their hijacking operations and ensure their treasure-hunting efforts meet the highest standards of operational excellence.

The pirate community has enthusiastically embraced this long-awaited training. "Ever since treasure-laden ships have plied the bounding main, pirates have clamored for tools to improve the quality and profitability of our hijackings," commented legendary pirate and ISSISSIPPI consultant Captain Barnacle Bill. "We took great care to ensure these courses are both practical for the pirate community and sensitive to those who have suffered the indignities of being keel-hauled, sunburned, or bounced off the plank."

She also noted that while internet access is unreliable on the high seas, ISSISSIPPI's strategic partnership with MoreSteam.com ensures that pirates can study Lean Six Sigma principles during their inter-pillage downtime.

ISSISSIPPI has embedded multiple innovations into its Pirate-specific Lean Six Sigma training, including:

• Using Box Plots to Find Buried Treasure - A data-driven approach to treasure recovery
• Swashbuckling Value Stream Mapping - Optimize your raiding process
• Kaizen on the Quarterdeck - Continuous improvement at sea
• 5S for the Treasure Chest - Because even doubloons need proper sorting

To enhance the learning experience, ISSISSIPPI has included exclusive video interviews with real-life pirates, detailing how they use Lean Six Sigma in their everyday lives. Among the most entertaining lessons is a hypothesis testing video, featuring First Mate Black Bart's now-famous ditty: "Yo Ho Ho, If the P is Low, You Can Reject the Ho!"

In a related development, ISSISSIPPI has expanded its Lean Six Sigma belt certifications to include the prestigious "Jolly Roger Belt". As with all ISSISSIPPI certifications, the Jolly Roger Belt is awarded via brain scan. However, due to interference with signal accuracy, all earrings and piercing jewelry must be removed prior to scanning. "While this may present a challenge for some of our more fashion–conscious pirates," noted Captain Barnacle Bill, "the certification is well worth it. After all, a true pirate is always ready to prove their operational excellence — even if it means temporarily parting with a gold hoop or two."

Pirates looking to maximize their loot, minimize their lead times, and avoid unnecessary mutiny can enroll in ISSISSIPPI's free pirate training today.